Spiritual Amnesia

I recently received a new calling in my ward. I instantly thought to myself that I actually wasn't quite spiritually prepared for the calling, and had some work to do. I had been stuck in the Primary for so long (3 years) that I hadn't been doing the things that I should have been doing. I was just going through the motions for awhile and I realized that I had a long way to go to get my spirituality back to it's once pristine state. I had experienced Spiritual Amnesia!

So, I started doing the things that I should have been doing all along. I even pulled out my PB for the first time in years and read and pondered it. I started refilling the cup that has been nearly empty, if not completely dry for a long long time. I have always known the path to spirituality, but for whatever reason didn't walk down the familiar path. It just seemed like I was standing dumbly on the path, with a blank stare of my face.

One of the reasons for this is that over the years I had acquired fear. Fear had replaced faith. I feared the calls where the caller ID showed the Church. I thought, they were calling to ask us to give a talk in church, or they were calling to ask us to give the opening and closing prayers in sacrament meeting. While at church, when it was the end of class and I knew they were going to ask someone to say the prayer, I looked down and hoped that they wouldn't pick me. How sad. How had the great and spacious building filled my heart instead of the tree of life?

I realized that the reason why I had this fear is because I had forgotten Him. I didn't forget His name, but I forgot who He is. I forgot about the plan. I forgot so much.

I felt overwhelmed with the prospect of jump-starting my spirituality. I was worried that turning on my spiritual radio would only yield static. Yet, I was surprised at how quick the influence of the spirit will fill you, if you desire it. The airwaves all around us have spritual transmissions. All we have to do is tune-in to them, and we will be filled.

I know that I still have a long way to go. I know that it won't be easy. But, I now look forward in faith. I look forward to serving. My slumber is over and my spiritual eyes are now open.